This week’s parsha begins with the parsha of Yefas Toar, a woman who is taken captive at war. The nations of the world used to send their daughters out dressed in their finest in order to distract the enemy at war. The Torah permits relations with such a woman even in an instance where it would otherwise be forbidden (i.e. she is a non-jew, she is married, etc.). The Gemara in Kidushin 21b explains “The Torah was speaking against the evil inclination”. The Torah understood that there would be certain uncontrollable urges that one would be faced with. In response, the Torah permitted an otherwise prohibited act. This is a difficult idea to understand. Firstly, we know that the Jews did not send their mightiest warriors to war, but rather their most righteous. Was the Torah concerned that even they would find these women irresistible? Secondly, the Gemara in Kiddushin seems to imply that a Yefas Toar should be prohibited. If that is the case, how can the Torah make a dispensation for human fallibility? The Torah is a paradigm of existence. If truth would dictate that a Yefas Toar should be prohibited, how can it be permitted?
The Medrash in Bereishes relates that originally Hashem wanted to create a world based solely on the middah (characteristic) of truth. When he saw that the world could not exist in this fashion, he intertwined the middah of mercy with the middah of truth and created the world. The commentaries explain this paradox (how can there be mercy with truth) by saying that truth now has a provision for mercy. An example of this would be clemency. Clemency is provided for a crime that has been committed. Judgement would require a specific punishment, yet within the justice system there is a provision that the government has a right to grant clemency. This clemency is not outside the legal system but rather a provision built into the system.
Likewise, the case of Yefas Toar. In truth, it is an unpleasant act. But the Torah, in its infinite wisdom, understood mankind and gave a provision for relations with such a woman. The Torah was given to this world and understands the needs of this world. There is a specific hierarchy when different mitzvohs come into conflict, or when mitzvohs come into conflict with personal needs (i.e. where life is at risk). These are not instances where we deem life to be so important that it overrides the Torah. Rather, the Torah itself provides the guidelines for such cases. Halachah encompasses the entire spectrum of reality and provides the rules for all contingencies. Hence, the Torah intertwines truth and mercy, thereby making mercy a part of the ultimate truth.
This provision was necessary even for the righteous, Rav Lopian explains, because one can never assume he is above any sin. He must never let down his guard.
Rav Yechezkel Abramski takes this message one step further. Often, we are faced with a spiritual test which we may find too difficult. We have a tendency to say that this is something I cannot do and ameliorate our guilt with that thought. You see from here that the Torah permitted a Yefas Toar because the prohibition would be too difficult. That means that any case where the Torah did not permit, it is not deemed too difficult.
Did You Know? #1
This week’s parsha contains the mitzvah of shiluach hakan (sending away the mother bird before taking the young birds from their nest). An explanation given for this commandment is that, in truth, there is no way you can catch the mother bird. The only reason you are able to capture the mother is because she has mercy on her children and will not abandon them. The Torah teaches us that you can not use the mercy of the mother against her to capture her while she remains behind to protect her children. Contrast this with a certain species found in the mid-east that, in truth , you can catch them easily. It is only because they keep their children near them that you have trouble catching them. In truth they can be caught, but they rely on your mercy not to harm their children that they endanger.
Did you Know? #2
The source for the saying “ Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” is in this week’s parsha. The Torah permits a yefas toar, implying only an attractive woman. The medrash, however, learns from the words “vechashaktah bah” that any woman he desires is permitted, even if she is unattractive. The Ramban explains this contradiction by saying that even an unattractive woman is considered a yefas toar if she is attractive to him.
Ben Sorer UmorehKei Tzeitzai 21-21
Urgamu kol anshei eiroh …….
The torah tells us to stone a ben sorer umoreh, a wayward child. There are many preconditions that have to be met in order for a child (within three months of his bar mitzvah) to be considered a ben sorer umoreh. In fact, it is a matter of dispute amongst the tanaaim if such a case ever occurred. Nevertheless our chazal explain, that should such a case occur, the child will be executed because of the inevitable path he has set himself upon (neherag al sheim sofo). Better he should die innocent than guilty. The question that arises is how can we execute a human being based upon actions that have not yet occurred?
This question is further compounded by a medrash in Parshas Toldos. Yishmael and Haggar were stranded in the dessert without water. Haggar placed Yishmael under a tree and began to cry. An angel came down and told her “Fear not for God has heeded the cry of the youth in his present state.” Rashi comments on the words “in his present state”. The angels called to Hashem and said “ He whose children will eventually kill Jews through thirst, you will rise for him a well?”. Hashem answered, “What is he now? A Tzaddik or Rasha?” “A Tzaddik”, they replied. “I judge him by his present state” said Hashem. The question is obvious: Why was Yishmael allowed to live based on the fact that he did not yet deserve to die, yet a ben sorer umoreh is put to death immediately? Furthermore, we can deduce that would Yishmael have been a Rasha at that time he would have been killed, so why did he not die as soon as he became a Rasha?
To answer this we must delve into the age-old question of Tzaddik vrah lo,Rashavtov lo. Why do seemingly bad things happen to good people and good things to bad people? We understand that the world we see before us, real as it may be, is simply a preparation for the world to come, the world of eternity. Every action we do in this world has incredible ramifications. Our deed shapes our very essence. We can literally create ourselves in whichever way we choose. Every good deed we do in this world does not simply gain us reward in the world to come, but changes our very being into that of a better person. We believe that just our nature influences our actions, so to our actions influence our nature. (For those who are skeptical and would like the most infinitesimal illustration of this concept, try forcing yourself to perform the menial rudimentary act of smiling the next time you are upset and see if it has any effect on the infinite emotion you are feeling.)
Hence, even the greatest of Tzadikkim make mistakes during the course of their lifetime. Hashem in his kindness allows them to be spiritually cleansed by experiencing discomfort in this world rather than the next. Likewise, the wicked are rewarded for their good deeds in this world, precluding a higher reward in the next world. Let us delve a little deeper.
The mishna in Pirkei Avos states “Rebbe Yanni says, ‘We do not have a complete intellectual grasp of the peace of the wicked, and not even of the pains of the righteous” Rabbi Yanni, two thousand years ago, struggled with this question, yet it is interesting to note his wording. He states we do not even understand the pains of the righteous. It sounds as if this is in fact easier to comprehend than the peace of the wicked. Yet we know Hashem’s character trait of mercy is at least 500 times greater than his trait of judgment (see Rashi Exodus, 34-7). So, in fact, the pains of the righteous is much more difficult to comprehend?
The answer brings out the beautiful depth of this concept. Why does Hashem punish the righteous in this world? To correct any deficiencies and spare them any pain in the world to come. These punishments, therefore, are coming directly from Hashem’s infinite mercy. They do not come despite the fact that he is kind, but these pains are true manifestations of his kindness itself. Although this may be tough for us to swallow emotionally, (especially when someone we know and love is suffering), intellectually it is much easier to comprehend than why Hashem wants to purge the wicked of their share in the world to come. This comes from His divine aspect of judgment, which is in fact much weaker than His trait of kindness.
We can now understand the full depth of another maimer chazal (Rashi Noach 8.1) that says great are the deeds of Tzadikim that they turn Hashem’s midas hadin (kindness trait) into midas harachamim (judgment trait), and the Reshaim turn the midas harachamim into midas hadin. (this typically refers to the names of Hashem used to carry out the acts).
Finally, we return to our original question. It is out of mercy that we execute a child who has demonstrated an inexorable will to do wrong. We wish for him to attain his highest level of spirituality, which, sadly enough , in his youthful state. Yishmael, on the other hand, was not extended that kindness. He was left alive to see out his days. He would not be granted the kindness Hashem grants to a ben sorer umoreh.
This leaves us with one question. If Yishmael was indeed righteous at that time why did Hashem not grant him the rights of the ben sorer umoreh? Why was he allowed to live out his days and leave his terrible enduring legacy. I thought of two possible answers to this question.
1) Perhaps Yishmael had not yet sinned at all, or at least not committed any capital crimes, giving G-d no basis for his death.
2) Since Yishmael himself was chozer bitshuvah, it was in fact a chesed for him to be left alive.
On a personal note, often we find ourselves faced with tribulations that we can not comprehend. I am a good person, why is this happening to me. We make the cardinal error of comparing our lives with those around us (yet never with those below us). It is precisely in these times that our faith is being called into question. We must not only believe in Hashem, but in His eminent goodness. Often in hindsight we are able to see how our ordeals, in fact, helped us grow as human beings. The trick is to be able to see it while it is occurring. May we, as well as our dear brothers in Israel, merit to see Hashem’s euphoric goodness with the coming of Mashiach speedily in our times.
Embarrasment
Towards the end of this week’s parsha (25:11) , we find the following section “If men fight with one another … and the wife of one of them approaches to rescue her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and she stretches out her hand and grasps him in an embarrassing way, you shall cut off her hand; you shall not have pity on her.” The Gemara explains that we do not literally cut off her hand, but rather we require her to financially compensate her victim for the embarrassment she caused him. It appears that the general point of this passage is to inform us of the requirement to compensate for causing another embarrassment (Boshes) like one who causes physical damage. The obvious question is why did the Torah inform us of this requirement in this particular fashion? Why not simply state that if one embarrasses another he must pay? Furthermore why does the Torah use this language of “cutting of her hand” when in fact she only must pay? Lastly, why does the Torah instruct us not to have mercy on her?
To answer this question we must first understand another section of this week’s parsha. (23:16) “Do not return a slave to his master…He shall dwell amongst you… Do not oppress him.” This slave that goes free is like any other Jew. If that is the case, why do we need a special prohibition not to oppress him? There is already a prohibition of verbal abuse to any Jew (Vayikra 25:17), and a special prohibition of verbal abuse to a stranger to the land (Vayikra 19:33) ? The answer is that the Torah has a keen sensitivity towards people’s feelings. The torah is aware of human nature to look down upon a former slave and the extreme embarrassment that the slave will endure if he is ridiculed. The Torah gave a third prohibition to preclude insensitive behavior.
Let us get back to our case. The Torah wanted to inform us that embarrassing another creates financial accountability. But more importantly, the Torah wanted us to understand why it creates financial accountability. Embarrassing a person has the same requirements as causing him physical damage because the Torah views it as if he in fact did cause physical damage. In fact, the Gemarra in Baba Metziah 58b states that “One who embarrasses his friend publicly it is as if he spilled his blood”. The Torah wanted us to understand just how grave a sin it is to embarrass another. That is why the Torah picked a case of a woman, acting out of kindness to her husband, who is justified in acting in self defense, but went a little too far in the method she used. The Torah is telling us that even when you are justified in acting against another you must take heed not to cause the other any undue embarrassment. It is possible that the Torah specifically used a case of a woman attacking a man also to prove this point. That even one who is viewed as less aggressive must be careful not to hurt another’s feelings. No matter how tough a guy may seem, he is still sensitive to any embarrassment.
The Sforno uses this idea to explain why this parsha directly follows that of Chalitza ( the ritual performed when one does not want to marry his childless brother’s widow). The Chalitza ritual involves the woman spitting at the feet of the man. The Torah was worried that one may learn from here that it is ok to embarrass a fellow Jew. Therefore the Torah immediately forbade such embarrassment and exacted a financial punishment as well.
The Ben Yehoyada asks on the aforementioned Gemarra in Baba Metziah which states that one who embarrasses his friend in public it is as if he spilled his blood. The Gemara uses the loshon of “keilu shofech damim” which is the plural form of spilling blood. Why is it considered as if he murdered numerous people? He answers that every single time an embarrassed person recalls the incident he relives the pain of that moment. It is therefore possible to kill this person over and over again. For those of you who think this idea is far fetched try to recall a particularly embarrassing situation form your past and you will notice that you inevitably have a knee jerk physical reaction that is apparent to anyone watching you. You will immediately feel the pain of that situation even if you are able to regain your composure after a moment.
Elul is a time of Teshuvah. We know however, that Teshuvah only helps for Aveiros that do not involve another human being. When another person’s feelings are hurt you must be granted his forgiveness before Hashem can forgive you. With this in mind we can see just how important it is not to ever hurt another’s feelings. The Torah went out of its way to give three prohibitions in the case of the slave. If the Torah had such sensitivity for slaves how much more so must we be careful with the feelings of those who are close to us. May we all be zocheh to do a Teshuvah sheleimah on all our actions.
Did you Know (taken from an article written by Rav Herschel Shachter) ?
The Vilna Gaon was fond of stating that if we look carefully into the Chumash, we will discover allusions to anything and everything that happened even in the centuries following the time of Moshe Rabbeinu. Reb Chaim Volozhiner asked of the Gra, “Where is there an allusion to the rebbe?” The Gaon immediately opened a Chumash to Ki Tetzei and reviewed it a bit until he noticed that the phrase “even shleima” was an allusion to his name (Eliyahu ben Shlomo). Reb Chaim asked the Gra why he chose to search specifically in parshat Ki Tetzei? The Gra responded that in D’vorim there are ten sedrot, counting Nitzavim and Vayelech as one sedrah. Each of these ten sedrot corresponds to each of the ten centuries of the “sixth millennium”. According to Talmudic tradition, the sixth millennium began with the year 1240. The Gra explained that whatever occurred in the first century of the sixth millennium (between the years 1240 - 1340) should be alluded to in Dvorim; and whatever occurred during the second century (between the years of 1340 - 1440) should be alluded to in Parshat Va'etchanan, etc. Since the Gra was then in the sixth century (after 1740)), he opened right away to Ki Tetzei, the sixth sedra in Chumash D'vorim.
Rabbi Maltzahn who printed this manuscript of R. Chaim of Volozhin in his sefer "Emmunah U'Bitachon" added the following comment. Ki Tavo is the seventh sedrah, and should contain allusions to things that would occur between the years 1840 - 1940. At the end of the 1930's the Nazis had already begun their extermination of the Jews, and he suggested that perhaps the bitter "Tochacha" that appears in Ki Tavo was not only an allusion to the many years of suffering of the galut, but also specifically alluding to the Nazi persecutions at the end of the 1930's.In later years, others pointed out that in the next sedra, Nitzavim-Vayelech which really is only one sedra; we read of the return of the Jewish people to Eretz Yisroel, the great teshuvah movement, and the mitzvah of writing a sefer Torah. All of these were witnesses following the year 1940, through the establishment of Medinat Yisrael, the great world-wide baal teshuvah movement, and the popularity of the mitzvah of writing a sefer Torah.
Amalek
Parshas Kei Tzeitzei
At the end of this week’s parsha we have the mitzvah of remembering that which Amalek did. “Remember what Amalek did to you on the way when you were leaving Egypt. That he happened upon you on the way and he struck…. And he did not fear God….” The first question we can ask is why the Torah stresses twice that the Jews were on the way when Amalek attacked them. Secondly, what is this idea of Amalek happening upon them? Rashi explains that Amalek chanced upon the Jews. Did they merely bumbp into them and decide to wage war? Finally we know there is a constant mitzvah to remember what Amalek did and wipe them out. Why must we constantly be aware of this even at times when we can not possibly wage war with Amalek.
The Gemara in Shabbos 118b states that if the Bnei Yisroel would keep Shabbos properly, no other nation would have power over them because we find that immediately after the Bnei yisroel desecrated Shabbos, Amalek waged war on them. What does this mean? The Medrash in Aichah records that Amalek would also desecrate the mitzvah of bris milah in their war against the Bnei yisroel. What specifically about Shabbos and bris milah does Amalek seek to destroy and what powers do these mitzvohs contain that protect us from Amalek?
The posuk in Shemos stated “And when Moshe’s hands were raised the Jews would be strengthened..” The Mishna in Rosh Hashana explains, do Moshe’s hands win or lose a war? Rather when Moshe’s hands were raised the Jews would turn towards the heaven and bind their hearts to Hashem, and be victorious. R. Moshe Shapiro explains that when Yitzchak blessed his two children Yaakov got the blessing “ And Hashem will give you..”. Yaakov’s blessing was to bring down his blessing from Hashem. Esav (from whom Amalek descends) on the other hand gets the blessing “From the fats of the land will be your dwelling..”. Esav is totally contained within this world. Hence, the philosophy of Amalek is not to deny the existence of Hashem, but to deny his role in this world. Amalek believes in happenstance. Hashem deos not play a role in this world. This world is an entity onto itself. Therefore Moshe must combat Amalek by raising his hands to heaven. The way to wage war on Amalek is to strengthen our belief in Hashem and show that we fight our wars by praying to Hashem. We believe the exact opposite that everything in this world is a manifestation of Hashem’s will and nothing happens by chance.
This explains why the two mitzvohs that are most against Amalek are Shabbos and Milah. Those are two of three mitzvohs that are a bris (covenant) between us and Hashem (the third being tefilin). When we keep Shabbos we are declaring that Hashem created the world in six days and the world is still his. Likewise by circumcising our sons we are entering them into the special covenant between us and Hashem. This is the antidote to Amalek. We look to strengthen our bond to Hashem. To involve him in every aspect of our lives and acknowledge His role in everything that transpires in this world.
R. Shapiro further explains why the Torah highlights that Amalek attacked us on the way. What were we on the way to? To accepting the Torah. Amalek could not let us accept the Torah and further our connection to the spiritual world because Amalek believes that the two worlds must be separated. This is also the meaning of Amalek happening upon us. They fight us the their philosophy of happenstance.
The posuk in Shemos 17;16 states “Kei yad al keis Kah..” (For there is a hand on the throne of Hashem). Rashi explains that both the name of Hashem and the word throne are missing letters as if to say that Hashem’s name and throne are incomplete as long as Amalek is around. Tosfos in Berachos 3a brings an explanation that when we say “Yehay Shmei Rabbah..” what we are in fact saying is “yehay shem yud-kay rabbah” The name of Hashem that begins with the letters yud and then heh should be expanded to its complete form by destroying Amalek. We now can explain what this means. As long as Amalek is around there is a disconnect between Hashem and this world. His throne is incomplete as long as people are denying His involvement in this world. Our job is to reconnect to Hashem by recognizing His hand in everything that occurs both on a personal and global scale. This is how we wage war with Amalek in current times. By looking to see the hand of Hashem in all that occurs.
R. Brazil
ELUL THE YERACH NOT THE CHODESH
In parshas Ki Sezhai the Torah describes the concept of the captive woman and how she must cry for her father and mother yerach yamim - a month. In lashon hakodesh there are two terms for month: chodesh and yerach. We are very aware that there are no true synonyms in the holy language. Rather, each expression contains a unique meaning and interpretation. The unique usage of what seems to be similar terms yerach and chodesh can be observed in the context of how they are used in the kesuva and the get. In the kesuvah we use the word chodesh while on the get we write yerach. Our chazal tell us the reason being that we find the term yerach together with the word geresh which means divorce, and we find term chodesh in the Torah together with kidushin. Hence we now understand where the difference lies. When referring to the month of marriage we use chodesh which connotes newness, but when referring to the month of divorce we use the term yerach.
Being so, we can now understand where our chazal derived the interpretation in this week’s parsah that as time passes, the Jew who marries this captive woman will eventually divorce her. How did the chachamim know that? The answer is that the Torah used the term yerach for month instead of chodesh “She will cry for her father and mother Yerach Yamim”. The Torah looked into the future and understood that a relationship that is built on spontaneous passion or to use the vernacular “fall in love” will not last but end up in divorce.
Now let us take a step further. The Zohar on this same passuk says that the crying for her father and mother hints to the month of Elul. During this month, a Yid must cry for what he wronged to his Father in heaven, for his Mother which hints to his fellow Jew, and all this for the period of yerach yamim an entire month. According to the explanation we gave above, we must take careful notice that the month of Elul is described in the terms of Yerach and not chodesh. This tells us that the month of Elul is primarily designated for matters of gittin divorce and not for kiddushin and attachment.
Let us understand. The passuk in Tehillim says sur mayrah vaasay tov – turn from evil and do good. One action is to uproot negative behavior while the other is to perform acts which will bring to closeness. When involved in the teshuva process, where should one’s initial focus be on the sur mayrah or the assay tov? The truth is that assay tov is usually easier and more comfortable. In our minds what is the big deal, so I will say five more perakim of Tehillim every day. I will learn two mishnayos or even join the daf yomi. I will start wearing my tzitzis, grow my payos behind my ears. I will bentsch from a bentscher and give more tzedaka. All of these are beautiful examples of asay tov and are commendable. But it doesn’t take the mesiras nefesh and self sacrifice of even one sur mairah. Take an undesirable habit that you own for years and see if you can break it. For example, say to yourself from today on absolutely no more lashan harah. For many of us such a commitment doesn’t even enter our minds because it’s a very challenging and taxing. Take a middah that you would like to change like kaas – anger. That’s almost super human but it can be done. I must share with you what the Chasam Sofer writes and that is the reason why most of our kabbalos for the new year don’t last even within the assay tov category, it is because we do not accept upon ourselves for the new year any sur mayrah. It’s like going to the mikveh holding on to a sheretz. It just does not work. On the other hand how can we fix up so many negative traits? The answer is that we can at least show Hashem that we are attempting to do so with one or two of them. Consequently, we will set the solid foundation on which to build one’s assay tovs that will take root and flourish doing the year.
Our Chachamim explain that one interpretation why a divorce is called “get” is because these two letters are never found compatible and adjacent to each other in any other word or form. This symbolizes the incompatibility of a relationship that leads to divorce. Similarly, the person who wants to divorce himself from his negative behavior, he must take upon himself to never ever act accordingly, that him and the avairah will never have a union together, and only then is his teshuvah accepted. Therefore even after a period of time when he falls prey to the same behavior, he should understand that it does not contradict his prior commitment of divorcing the “rah” from himself. Rather we just look at this recent episode as a new iniquity and not the same recurring behavior that never was uprooted.
According to our words we can now understand the peculiar difference that sets aside Rosh Hashana from all other holidays in the Torah reading. When the Torah introduces Rosh Hashana it states on the seventh month on the first day. We find that the month is mentioned prior to the day of the month on which the yom tov falls. This order is reversed by every other Yom Tov where we find first mentioned the day of the holiday and only afterwards the month. However, now we can explain that the Torah by mentioning the month first, is stressing the point that this month of Tishrei is quite different from the previous month of Elul. Elul was a month of Yerech ridding oneself of the bad and the negatives. Tishrei is the month of Chodesh of positive mitzvos of attachment, like shofar, succah, the four minim, of Simchas Torah zman simchasainu. That is why when it comes to Rosh Hashana the Torah begins with the words Bachodesh haasheveee beechad lachodesh. Bachodesh relates to kiddushin and marriage in contrast with the previous month of Yerach.
We say three times a day in Ashrei, ashrei haam shekacha lo. I just want to mention a little insight I had yesterday. The gemarah says [Nidah 13] that an aspect of the cunningness of the evil inclination is that today he says asay kach do this and tomorrow he says asay kach, until one day he will tell you to do idolatry worship. Our Chazal are conveying to us that the yetzer harah does not approach a person advising him to transgress big sins, for he understands that you won’t listen to him. Rather, every day he comes with a little transgression “asay kach” and eventually he wears you down and you lose your guard and feelings until he numbs you totally into worshiping avodah zarah.
If this is with evil, surely for good and mitzvos the same process must work. To do great things in one shot doesn’t always work. One must gradually move upwards with every bechirah until he reaches high madraigos. But doing so, one must realize that each baby step is a giant step because it is challenging to the individual, and they yetzer harah will fight tooth and nail that you should not gain any ground. This is what the passuk hints to when it says ashrei haam shekacha lo Happy is the people who work to get closer to Him through “kacha”, today do this and tomorrow do this, small steps always upgrading as you go along. Will we be able this month to uproot all the negative? I highly doubt it? Some of the negative? Good chance. One or two of the negatives? Very probable if one is serious and committed. Let us remember we are not alone and we have siyata dishmaya. Make this Rosh Hashana a chodesh renewing your relationship and marriage with Hashem. But that is only possible if it is preceded by a month of Yerach where He sees that we are seriously attempting to eradicate and come clean. May we have a month of kacha which is the gematira of adam and mehode. We actually create ourselves by the process of kacha step by step as long as we endeavor with mehode quality putting in all our heart and kochos. On Rosh Hashana when Hashem once again creates Adam, let Him and the malachim be able to say it was worth it all.
